Baby Sitting Strider
by Kwantum
Summary: After the war and thirteen children, Sam asks the King and Queen of Gondor to baby sit for a day on account of his anniversary
1. a Difficult Favour

Babysitting

"Umm, King Elessar sir?"

Aragorn rolled his eyes at his wife who smiled slightly before turning her attention onto the nervous hobbit.

"Samwise Gamgee, how many times do I have to tell you to spare me the formalities." said the King of Gondor

"Begging your pardon Mr. Strider sir..."

Frodo looked up at the man seated in one of the few chairs in Bag End that could hold him and grinned. Even though Sam and he had spent many weeks alone together, his friend still insisted on calling him Mr. Frodo.

"I hate to ask any inconveniences of you sir, but as you are here and have no kingly duties to attend to as you said...well it's Rosie's and my anniversary tomorrow if you get my meaning..."

"No my friend," laughed Aragorn, "I do not get your meaning. Get on with whatever it is you feel the need to say."

"Would you please watch the children for a day?" blurted out Sam, instantly going bright red, "I mean only if you wouldn't mind sir. I have Master Merry, and Master Pippin looking after them now sir, and I have been for a while now, They're going berry picking and all sir, but I thought that I'd let them have a break and they are a delightful bunch of hobbit lads and hobbit lassies."

"Stop your rambling Sam," spoke the Queen softly with a smile, "Of course we'll look after them for a day. I quite agree that you and Rosie should have the day together and that your usual resident baby sitters should have a day off. Spending some time with children is just what we need."

"Of course," agreed Aragorn, though a little more hesitantly, he had heard from Merry and Pippin that there were a great many little Gamgees, and that they were a handful, " but just how many little hobbits will we be looking after."

"Oh thank you," beamed Sam almost shedding tears of joy, "we have thirteen sir."

"Thirteen," the evenstar almost chocked, starting to regret the promise that they were now bound to keep

"Oh don't worry Ma'am," said Sam, sensing her concern, "Elanor is nearly full grown, she'll help you out."

"and I also," spoke up Frodo, sensing that he was digging his own grave, "You'll need an extra pair of hands, and chances are that Elanor wants to spend the day with Fastred, and Frodo lad has yet to learn where everything is."


	2. Kitchen Mayhem

Aragorn and Arwen were staying with Merry for the night and had spent the entire evening listening to horror stories of Sam's children.

Armed to the teeth with baby siting supplies borrowed from Merry. the couple showed up bright and early at Bag End and rang the brass bell.

A flustered Rosie opened the door and beckoned him in, smiling while silently beckoning them to be quiet.

Sam came rushing out of what was clearly their room while remaining completely silent and whispered to their new baby sitters, "Thank you so much Mr. Strider Sir, my lady, they're all still asleep. Mr. Frodo is up and about preparing breakfast, you'll have to be very quiet, most of the children are heavy sleepers but little Tom will wake up and wail at almost anything, and his wailing will certainly rouse the others, if you get my meaning."

Aragorn and Arwen nodded in understanding and elven-style moved to assist Frodo in the kitchen while Sam and Rosie made their way out the door, shutting it silently.

Frodo was cooking up a storm, he had several kettles going and sixteen seed cakes in the oven as well as a huge pot of porridge, He was currently whisking up a bathtub of eggs.

Aragorn knew that this was probably a small breakfast for the family, he had traveled with four fully grown hobbits and was at the time astounded on how quickly they wolfed down all of his provisions. The growing youngsters undoubtedly needed even more sustenance to full their legendary energy.

Arwen, who did not have said experience with hobbits was stopped short. She knew that a family with thirteen children certainly ate a lot but this was the near equivalent to a small feast in Imladris.

Frodo beamed when he saw his friends at the threshold of the kitchen and breathed softly that the children would be up soon and expecting a full sized breakfast, and that he would need some help with preparing some more food.

Leading his stunned wife by the arm, Aragorn rolled up his sleeves, and took out close to a dozen loaves of thick bread from the pantry and started making toast.

Arwen who was adjusting to the mute havoc of a hobbit kitchen went out to the well kept beautiful garden (helped along by her grandmother's gift to the gardener) and plucked a huge basket of berries when a horrifying thought struck her.

Aragorn sensed that his wife was more tense when she came back from the garden and began mixing the berries with cream,

"What ails you?" he inquired with concern

"Estel," she said monotonously, "didn't you tell me that hobbits had as many as three breakfasts?"

there was a few seconds of silence before the shock dies down.

Aragorn laughed at a normal tone and said, not noticing Frodo's arm flapping, telling him to be quiet, "we've been through worse Undomiel, we defied the shadow and the twilight, surely we can handle..."

Reminiscent of listening to the drums in Moria, the trio held their breathe for a full minute, at the end of which they each heard thirteen rowdy, cranky hobbit children get out of bed.


	3. Introductions

After Frodo had come back from extracting a wailing Tolman from his crib, the all of the Gamgee children were seated around the enormous new Bag End table.

"Where's Mom and Dad?" whined Ruby

"They're out, it's their anniversary stupid," shot Daisy nastily, "They told us last night."

"Quiet, we're supposed to listen to Uncle Frodo," commanded Frodo lad, who hero worshipped him like his father did, proud of being named after the savior of Middle-Earth, whose story had been his favourite when he was younger.

"Since when did you boss us around?" screeched Goldilocks, "Elanor's the eldest"

"Elanor can't be in charge," leered Merry lad evilly, "because she's too busy kissing Fastred of Greenholm!"

"I did no such thing nor do I ever want to!" retorted a flushed Elanor who got up from her seat at the table

"Oh yes you did." jeered her younger brother, "Primrose saw you last night and told me about it."

The eldest daughter turned onto her sister, "You did what? You were spying on me weren't you?"

"Was not!" piped up Primrose, "I was looking at Dad's garden and I saw you, I couldn't help it."

Elanor's leer of disbelief was enough to rival that of the Mouth of Sauron's

It looked like the children were going to go at it again when Aragorn took charge, speaking in a kingly manner which silenced the table,

"That's enough," he said with his hands up, "I am Aragorn, and this is Arwen, we are going to be taking care of you in your parent's stead along with Frodo here. No not you Frodo Gamgee, Frodo Baggins."

"Yeah we know," said Pippin Gamgee, "Mom and Dad told us last night as I'm sure _most _ of us remember." he punctuated the final part of his sentence with a glare at Ruby

Frodo Baggins who was feeling sorry for his ranger friend swooped down to save him from the awkward silence that followed,

"Well, I'm sure you know both Aragorn and Arwen, they're the Aragorn and Arwen from the stories that your Dad and Uncle Bilbo, not you Bilbo but Bilbo Baggins used to tell you."

He gave them a few moments for the importance of their baby sitters to sink in, he could see the respect for Aragorn and Arwen developing.

"Good," continued the hobbit, "so you know who they are so why don't you tell them who you are?"

They each took it in turn from eldest to youngest, simply stated their names while undoubtedly mentally forming a million questions to ask the king and queen.

"Elanor."

"Frodo."

"Rose"

"Merry"

"Pippin"

"Goldilocks"

"Hamfast"

"Daisy"

"Primrose"

"Bilbo"

"Ruby"

"Robin"

Frodo (Baggins) smiled to himself at the peace, albeit temporary peace that he had created before introducing the latest addition to the Gamgee family, "and this is Tom"

Arwen took the happily gurgling baby and watched as the children kept themselves quiet by gorging themselves on the food previously prepared.


	4. At it again

The monarchs were getting used to the bustling atmosphere and by third breakfast Aragorn and Arwen were beginning to feel that they could handle them. The king and queen had yet to notice that the little hobbits were only tolerably under influence of food.

Once the thirteen plates have been cleared there was an uneasy silence

"What now?" asked Primrose in her legendary whiney voice.

"I'm off," declared Elanor and bringing her plate to a basin in the cornew straightened out her dress and grabbing a hat moved to the circular door

"To go see Fastred." taunted Merry through a final mouthful of toast.

"You lying twerp!" shrieked the eldest flushed sister, "what I may or may not do with the people that I choose to spend time with as an escape from you people is none of your business you hear? Just because no girl in her right mind would ever take you-"

She was cut off by Merry who shot back, "As a matter of fact I am not wholly unpopular with the hobbit girls, Just because I don't go around showing off with them!"

Rosie rolled her eyes, "It was nighttime behind Bag End if memory serves."

"Aha!" Merry cried in triumph, "so you admit it!"

"Rosie flushed even brighter at her blunder but regained her composer, "and what about these hobbit ladies that you talk about?"

"So unobservant," crooned Merry, "haven't you noticed how all the women scream whenever I draw near?"

"and have you noticed," squeaked Goldilocks, boldly entering the fray, "that they leave very quickly after they finish screaming in _disgust."_

"They can't believe that a hobbit like me can possibly exist," countered Merry, lamely

"To right they don't," backed up Daisy, "who would believe that such a big headed, arrogant hobbit that's so full of himself could ever walk the earth and not be blasted into oblivion by the Valar!"

A shocked Arwen opened her mouth to tell the children not to lightly use the names of the lords of the west but she was drowned out by the shouts of approval at Daisy's remark

"Well Daisy," said Bilbo slyly, "weren'y you showing off and prancing around playing the goody goody in front of Faramir?"

Daisy went as red of Elanor and said quietly, "Don't be stupid Bilbo, you know that Faramir's got it for Goldilocks."

While all the heads swiveled to watch Goldilock's reaction to this startling news, Aragorn questioned Frodo (Baggins)

"Faramir?"

Frodo looked at his friend and spared him the genealogy lesson, "Faramir Took, Pip's son."


	5. Temper Tantrum

Once the argument had more or less burned itself out, Arwen, Aragorn, and Frodo was looking at a decreased number of hobbit children to manage.

Fastred had swung by to pick up Elanor for a day on the river, and the younger siblings withheld the taunts and teasing under the imposing figure of Fastred of Greenholm.

The very unpopular Merry set off to town to prove himself with the hobbit ladies to everyone.

Goldilocks had been invited to an eating competition at the Green Dragon in which Faramir would be competing.

She was followed by a hopeful Daisy and snickering Bilbo who always thought Faramir Took as a bit of a show off who got more female attention than deserved. The rest of the Gamgees were convinced that he was only going to sabotage the food that was to be consumed by Faramir.

_Five gone, eight still here_

Thought the captain of the rangers with a slight moan.

His wife's quick ears caught the sound of not wanting to be here before the almost equally quick hobbit ears would catch on covered up with the proclamation of,

"So, what do you normally do?"

There was a moment of silence before Primrose spoke up, her small voice as whiney as ever and always as if she was on the verge of tears,

" I dunno"

The usually patient healer was already exasperated with the little hobbit girl and spoke a little more harshly than intended.

"You don't know what you do on a day to day basis?"

Frodo looked at him questioningly, this was a side to his old friend that he hadn't seen with him in the wild, though he was silently applauding the action.

Primrose's lower lip quivered slightly and in a flurry of wails and flapping arms rushed out of the kitchen and into what was assumed to be her room.

Upsetting Primrose into leaving the table seemed to have earned the ranger respect points from the children, and lost him a few from his wife.

Shocked at the over reaction, Aragorn held up both his hands and said sincerely,

"I am so sorry, I...I didn't think that she was so delicate."

"Delicate is one way to describe her," smirked Pippin, "I prefer whiney, cry baby, and a drama queen."

The rest of the table stifled laughs as the evenstar shot them all a reproving look and arched her eyebrows in a way that only a child of Elrond could achieve.

"Should I go and apologize to her?" asked Aragorn, looking at the children, then at his wife to tell her what was best.

A loud and high pitched wail from a room not too far away answered his question. Primrose definitely did not want to be disturbed.

"I'll go," offered Arwen, then winking at her husband to show him that she wasn't upset with him she said, "believe me, Dan and Ro had these issues a lot and I've watched how Ada dealt with them."

Grinning at the thought of the mighty Elladan and Elrohir throwing a temper tantrum, Aragorn attempted to amuse the remaining children with his "put out a candle with your hand trick" which was accepted with wild applause.


	6. Something to do

_So that's why she was in such a hurry to comfort Primrose_

Aragorn was grinding his teeth as he was forced to be flying solo while Arwen was in Primrose's room and Frodo went off to clean the mountain of dishes as well as keep an eye on Tom.

Usually putting out a candle with his hand would entertain the average Gondorian politician for a good five minutes. The applause from these children however lasted about thirty second before turning into wails of boredom.

_Just like Elladan and Elrohir, gets the three of us to do something stupid and leaves me standing when things get sticky._

He then proceeded to try to get them interested about elves, hoping that their father would pass on his fascination. Unfortunately, the father in question had told them everything about the fair folk already.

Finally on a final struggle to keep the children interested, Aragorn began to teach them the skill that we was proudest of, wilderness survival.

...

Though Arwen had successfully entered Primrose's room, the same thing could not be said about extracting her from a pile of blankets.

The room that had been previously used by Bilbo Baggins for clothes was a small one which Primrose had to herself and often retreated to.

_This is so unbecoming of an elf_

Her father's voice boomed through her mind

Arwen, smiled slightly at the countless other "unbecoming" things that she and her brothers did while trying to vainly wrench the pile of blankets off of Primrose while talking to her soothingly in elvish.

...

Shouting to Frodo that he was taking the seven remaining children into the woods, Aragorn lead them out the door and to a place where they could practice "ranger stuff"

Frodo lad in the lead, taking three pompous steps to match one of Aragorn's, the group had to go through the centre of Hobbiton to reach a suitable forest.

It was while going through the bustling marketplace that the Gamgees plus Aragorn heard a loud thumping coming from a smaller pub and none other than Merry Gamgee being thrown from it.

The brother was greeted by his snickering brothers and sisters, a concerned babysitter, and a face full of dirt.

"I see that went well"

Observed Hamfast sarcastically with a smirk on his face

"Who kicked you out?" asked Ruby eagerly

"That's none of your business" answered a red faced Merry Gamgee

"Of course it is" grinned Robin, "you're our brother"

"I too would like to know what just happened." spoke Aragorn as calmly as possible

He could withhold information from his siblings, but not from the king of Gondor.

Merry sighed and started telling the eager audience.

"I tried to find out where a girl lives and her father, the owner overheard us and kicked me out, happy?"

Disappointment was in the air on the whole and Pippin said,

"That's it?"

"An overview of what happened yes." replied Merry

"No juicy details? Just an abbreviation?" inquired a disappointed Rose

"There's not much to tell," said Merry, regaining his composer, "I'm not much more than a farmer. and not very good at telling stories. Well, not making them interesting anyways."

The rest of the group looked a little surprised by the remark that was not exactly the tone of their brother, but Aragorn broke up the moment of silence.

"Well then Merry, unless you would like to continue your foray which I strongly advise against, you might as well come with us."

"What's "us" doing?" asked Merry, a bit more in character

"Ranger stuff." answered the entire group, some eagerly and others skeptically.

"What's to loose?" replied Merry, and he stepped in with the others.


	7. Banished

"No Tom!"

Despite having only one little Gamgee in his care, Frodo was barely clinging onto his sanity.

He had just disentangled Tom from his hair when he caught the hobbit baby helping himself to a handful of raw dough.

After prying the lumpy blob of dinner from the baby's clutches, he looked up to see a defeated looking Arwen at the kitchen table.

"No luck with Primrose I presume."

Arwen nodded sadly,

"and I thought that Dan and Ro were difficult."

Frodo smiled sympathetically,

"If she's under the blankets then it's a loosing battle. Just let her calm down. She can be a bit over emotional at times."

Sighing in defeat, Arwen got up from the kitchen table,

"Do you know where Aragorn and the others went?"

"They went to do ranger stuff."

Arwen rolled her eyes, "Why am I not surprised?"

...

_I remember ranger stuff being more interesting than this_

After thirty minutes of sniffing the ground, all of the Gamgees were growing bored.

Aragorn sensed the rapidly decreasing interest in walking without making a sound, which he reminded himself that hobbits excelled in naturally.

Wanting to keep them all moderately interested before true chaos reeked again, he suggested another form of entertainment.

"Did any of you ever go to Bree?"

The much needed change of topic brought all Gamgees out of the monotonous routine of "ranger stuff"

"Well," said Frodo, "Dad took Merry a few years ago and we all know how well that went."

A few of the siblings snickered.

Aragorn raised an eyebrow, silently asking what happened.

A red faced Merry answered, "I was erm, banished."

Aragorn raised his eyebrow further, "banished? Why?"

"Well not from Bree." added Merry defensively, "only from the Prancing Pony."

"Why?" repeated Aragorn

"I was...clumsy to say the least."

Aragorn was thoroughly confused by now, as far as he knew, Barliman Butterbur was a more than friendly person who was more forgiving than most.

"You were banished because you were clumsy?"

"To say the lest." nodded Merry

"How about to say the most?"

The others chuckled at Aragorn's remark.

"Well," said Merry uneasily, " I kind of was not as careful with the property of The Prancing Pony as I should have been."

"Meaning?" Aragorn pressed further

Frodo lad answered for his younger brother,

"He broke everything within eight rooms of where he was standing and what he couldn't break he burned."

Aragorn was starting to doubt Merry Gamgee's adeptness as living out a life where the majority of Arda didn't hate him.

"So I guess a trip to Bree's out then?"

All of the children nodded silently.


	8. A bit like Fangorn

"Hey Merry,"

Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took were wandering the old forest.

"Yeah Pip?"

"I was just thinking, this is a lot like Fangorn, don't you think?"

Merry whirled around to look at his friend,

"Well," he said, answering his friend's question with a skeptical air, "the trees aren't carrying us, there is more than lembas and Ent draught in my tummy, and my toes aren't overgrown with moss, but apart from that yeah, it's kind of like Fangorn."

Pippin shrugged and continued on.

They hadn't gone another ten paces when they heard a loud boom not too far away.

"What do you think that was Merry?"

"I'm not sure Pip, but I'll bet that has something to do with Sam's children."

At that Pippin promptly turned on his heel and starting walking in the opposite direction.

"Where're you going?" asked Merry

"If they know that we're here," breathed Pippin, "they're catch us, crush us into tiny bits, and blast us into oblivion!"

Merry laughed, "They're not that bad, come on, we owe it to Strider for saving our lives about a million times in the war."

Grudgingly, Pippin agreed and they walked in the direction of the boom, finding Merry Gamgee laughing maniacally while lighting up another firework.

Took and Brandybuck watched Aragorn see what was going on tackle the young Gamgee before the second firework could go off.

"On second though Pip." said Merry, "You're right, let's bolt."

"Run!"

The two hobbits didn't last long.

At Pippin's outcry all of the Gamgees present whirled around and charged at their favourite uncle, leaving a very satisfied Aragorn leaning against a tree stump.


	9. Chapter 9

Eventually, after a long and gruesome day, Sam and Rosie had relieved the disgruntled monarchs of baby sitting duty. The couple were now basking in their lack of responsibility.

"No more babysitting, no cooking, to whining, no teasing...just a whole kingdom of men to watch. Life is good now, isn't it?"

Aragorn sighed in contentment and sat a little lower in his saddle, the two horses who had a much more pleasant stay than the king and queen were faithfully bringing them home.

"ummm" was all the audible noises that Arwen seemed willing to make, but her soft eyes and gentle smile told her husband that she was just as happy as he was."

"It was good to see everyone again, most soldiers have issues going back to normal life, but there are hardy folk." observed the king fondly

"With those children in their lives, they have to be."

Aragorn chuckled at his wife's remark, "true enough"

the two rode in loving silence for a little while longer, the silence occasionally broken by Aragorn once again expressing his relief at never having to look after children again.

As he continued his rants, getting increasingly more passionate, Arwen began to get worried, She bit her lip nervously and cut her husband off while he was speculating on the woes of fatherhood,

"Honey, now I have to tell you something, but you have to promise me not to freak out ok?"

"uh yeah, sure thing"

"I'm pregnant"


End file.
